


Stealing Your Heart

by apollo_python



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Crack Treated Seriously, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, Light-Hearted, M/M, Robbery, enemies for only like a second
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 03:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30133614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollo_python/pseuds/apollo_python
Summary: “Hello mister! Would you be interested in purchasing some girl scout cookies?” The man exclaimed, stepping closer into Shuichi’s personal bubble.“You’re not a girl scout,” Shuichi said incredulously as he attempted to sidestep the figure blocking his way to the sweet embrace of his bed.The man matched his movements, once again getting in his way. “Aw man, I must be getting old. That used to work so well,” he sighed. “Unfortunately for you, I really need some cash, so you might as well pull out that wallet of yours now.” The man reached into his coat and pulled out an object.A knife. A goddamn purple knife.Alternate title: Who knew mugging was so effective at getting people together?
Relationships: Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	Stealing Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to start a more light hearted fic this time around. But it's hard to resist the urge of making characters cry.

All Shuichi wanted was to collapse in bed and pass out for 24 hours. That would be nice. It was preferable to the throbbing headache from work and aching feet from his too tight shoes. Trudging along the sidewalk while trying not to pass out, Shuichi berated himself for not getting coffee that morning. 

“It will be fine!” he said to himself as he dashed out the door, already late to work at the detective agency.

It was not fine. Everything hurt and he hit his boss in the face with a stack of files during his haphazard attempt at explaining his thought process for a case. Another memory to add to his pile of embarrassments. 

Shuichi pinched his palm in a feeble attempt to banish that memory. He was almost home now, the bridge ahead indicating the last landmark before his street. 

As soon as he stepped foot under the bridge, everything began to feel off. He couldn’t explain it, but the feeling had him pinching harder into the skin on his hand. Paranoia wasn’t unknown to Shuichi however, so he marched on. 

Only to be met with a man who seemingly appeared out of nowhere and now blocked his path. Tilting his head down, Shuichi was met with crazed purple eyes that bored into his soul. 

“Hello mister! Would you be interested in purchasing some girl scout cookies?” The man exclaimed, stepping closer into Shuichi’s personal bubble.

“You’re not a girl scout,” Shuichi said incredulously as he attempted to sidestep the figure blocking his way to the sweet embrace of his bed. 

The man matched his movements, once again getting in his way. “Aw man, I must be getting old. That used to work so well,” he sighed. “Unfortunately for you, I really need some cash, so you might as well pull out that wallet of yours now.” The man reached into his coat and pulled out an object.

A knife. A goddamn purple knife. 

“Alright, stick em up!” 

Great, he was being mugged. Again. He really liked his new wallet too. 

“Hellooo, you shouldn’t be so spaced out when you’re being robbed y’know. If I was a bad person I’d probably have stabbed you for that.” The man waved the obnoxiously bright purple knife in Shuichi’s face. 

Purple knife, purple eyes, purple hair, purple coat, purple sneakers. It hurt his eyes. Purple was officially cementing itself as his least favorite color after this experience. 

“I think robbing someone makes you a bad person.”

The purple man gasped. “Bad person? You’ve got me all wrong. I need the money for my family, I’m a single father of five with a mortgage to pay.” 

“Sure.”

“You’re acting way too bored for someone who has a knife in their face.”

“It’s hard to take you seriously.”

“Excuse you, I am very menacing!”

“You introduced yourself as a girl scout.”

“And you have ten seconds before I put this knife in your arm.”

Whatever. This was exhausting. Not the act of being robbed, but just having to speak to this guy. Shuichi pulled out his wallet and handed it to the guy.

“Can I leave now?”

The man’s face went blank for a moment before replacing itself with a giddy smile. He snatched the wallet and stepped back from Shuichi. 

“Well with that I bid you adieu, have a good rest of your day.” The man turned away and skipped, yes skipped, out of the underpass. Even after he was out of sight, Shuichi stayed rooted in place, expecting for something else to come in and mess up his walk home. But after a few silent minutes passed, he concluded it would be okay to keep moving. 

Shuichi continued his journey until he made it back to his apartment and fell into bed. Finally, he could just sleep and forget about this mess of a day-

A loud buzz cut off his fantasy. It seemed sleep was too much to ask for. Shuichi fumbled around his pockets before yanking out his phone and answering the call without checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” 

“Shuichi!” Kaede’s familiar voice rang out. “I know this is a bit last minute but could you come out with me for dinner tomorrow? It was supposed to just be me and Miu but now she’s bringing someone else so I need you to balance it out.”

“Why do you need someone to balance it out?”

“‘Cause Miu’s friends are crazy, duh. I can handle her but more than that requires backup. Please, Shuichi.” 

Bed sounded way more appealing, but he couldn’t even count how many times Kaede supported him in awkward social situations, so he owed her. Except-

“I can’t pay.”

“Oh Shuichi, if you’re having money problems-”

“Ah no. I’m fine. It’s just that my wallet was stolen, so it’ll take a while for me to cancel and replace my credit cards.” 

“Stolen?” Kaede shouted.

“I was mugged.”

“Shuichi!” Kaede’s voice continued to rise in volume. “Are you okay, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I am telling you. Right now.” He winced at the sound of his own voice. It was hard to make decent conversation when he was on the verge of passing out. “And yeah I’m fine, I only had twenty dollars in it. The annoying part is that I’ll have to replace all my cards.” 

“God Shuichi, that’s awful, I’m so sorry.”

“Ah, don’t be, it wasn’t that bad. The guy really wasn’t threatening, I was just tired and wanted him to leave me alone.” 

“You’re so weird, Shuichi. But if you really are okay, you should come to dinner tomorrow, it’ll be my treat.”

And since Shuichi didn’t have much food in the house and wouldn’t be able to grocery shop for a bit, he agreed. And also because he was a good friend. But the food was a nice addition.

The front of the restaurant was decorated with grape vines that curtained the red brick. The dusk sky illuminated by the old lanterns in the street. It was a nice place, which made Shuichi feel a bit bad about making Kaede pay for him. But he knew if he even brought that up with her she’d just laugh or pinch his face, he could never tell what to expect from her. 

Said girl grabbed onto his dress shirt sleeve and dragged him into the establishment, which garnered weird looks from the staff. He didn’t need to be dragged in, but Kaede was just too excited for him to do anything about it. 

“So, did you or Miu choose this place?” Shuichi asked as the pair settled into the booth’s red cushioned seats. A candle shown in the center of the table, giving some more light to the dimly lit restaurant.

“I did,” Kaede said with a proud smile.

“Hm, that makes sense.” 

“Ouch, Shuichi. How dare you not trust Miu's restaurant taste.”

Oh God, he was bombing this and the other guests hadn’t even arrived yet. “No, I didn’t mean it like that-”

Before he could defend himself, a loud crash broke through the serene restaurant environment. 

“Oh for fucks sake, Miu! You almost knocked me over.” A disembodied voice screeched. 

“Maybe that was on purpose dipshit, now keep your grubby hands out of my purse.” Another, just as crazed, voice shouted back. 

“Miu’s here!” Kaede piped up, sitting up in her seat to try and catch the other girl's attention. Kaede was right, Miu’s friend sounded just as weird as she did. The pair of voices finally rounded the corner, still not aware of Shuichi and Kaede’s presence. He could see Miu, still going off on a tangent while swinging her bright pink purse around like a weapon. But when Shuichi saw the person next to her, he yanked Kaede back down into the booth.

“Shuichi, what’s wrong?”

“That’s the guy!”

“What guy?”

“Miu’s friend, that’s the guy who stole my wallet!”


End file.
